Does anyone else find that they need to just close their eyes and rest
And then they can just suddenly solve all of their problems. I can NOT be tired, but feel insanely flooded. Decide, you know, I think I need to nap. Nap, and suddenly I’m seeing all the problems I need to work on. Like I’m watching myself do them. And another part of my brain is like, hold on! I’m trying to take notes here! Can you slow it down! I’m not that fast! The second I wake up I’ll forget it here, so I need to write deep, not fast. Today I didn’t even realize I had anything I needed to work out. But I felt just a little tired. I can’t tell if it’s the withdraw from being taken off the ER of Adderall to strictly the salt combo. But, I have dips, and so I said, I’ll just lay down for five minutes. Then I thought after I was actually laying down, maybe ten? And as I’m laying there I’m seeing myself working on tasks I’d been forgetting about, like folding the boys laundry. And how I can have THEM put it away for their “allowance.” And how I need to figure out this point system for it. And I saw myself doing that too! Saw them carrying the laundry basket downstairs together, working in tandem. I hadn’t even thought of those things awake. But I do this a lot I’ve noticed where I lay down to sleep and I’m planning tomorrow. Or I’m trying to meditate, and I’m off thinking about ALL these tasks I haven’t done yet, and listing them off. And how I can do them and when. And it baffles me that when I’m at my most calm, I’m at my most willing to plan, and do. And then the second I wake up, I’m like, eh! Let’s see what’s on TV. And do NONE of it instead. My planning game: 100%, my follow through: 15%. I can honestly say, I DON’T have game. And there is no amount of dopamine hit to encourage me to do a lot of what’s on my list.