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NUMO
ADHD

2 months ago

Getting better

I wish I can get better on my own. I don’t like the reliance on the earth. I don’t like the reliance I have on doctors. I just want to get better and stay better. I want to be happy, with a clear mind and the want to do things again. I hate myself and my skin. I hate the way I act and how I feel. I hate my body and mind. I hate who I am. That’s it. Plain and simple. I want to be more than I am, and I have always wanted that. I want to be miss perfect for everyone. The girl who gets straight A’s. The one who has white teeth. The one who gets all her work done in a timely manner. The one who has her house spotless and cute and everyone’s laundry is done before they keep asking where is my clothes. The one who has the fridge stocked. The one who is better and all of what my fiancé wants. How do I be better for him? He says I’m like taking to a brick wall. He says I’m difficult and I’m dumb. I just need help

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GeniusIdiot
1mo

Me too 😊

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nicophinerine
1mo

I can see youre struggling, but please try to get out of negative thought loops. You need to get help, whether it betherapy or meds, abd a healthy support system and surroundings. I dont mean this in a berating way, but it feels like you need to catch a breather

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konputa
1mo

Even if he thinks that though, I feel like that’s not right to say since you’re struggling, and the struggling and ADHD/effects of it isn’t somethin you asked for, even people can’t understand it. It’s definitely something I struggle with because my mom and brother are both perfectionists and treat me like a reject most of the time and don’t understand why I am the way I am despite years of me being this way. My boyfriends autistic so im thankful he’s much more understanding, and kind. I’m trying to learn to heal and stop being so hurtful to myself for not being “perfect”

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konputa
1mo

I know I don’t know your story but I can relate to feeling and wanting to be perfect but it’s not realistic. You need to be patient with yourself to get better and or to start building a better routine for yourself, even if it just starts off with self care, and maybe going on a walk every other day, or some sort of exercise

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martaesme
1mo

Hi, I know how you feel... Maybe you're expecting too much from yourself, you're already doing your best. Dealing with ADHD is not simple. Please be gentle with yourself ❤️ remember you don't have to be perfect to deserve love

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