I don’t have much advice to offer, but I feel the same way as your wife and my husband isn’t trying. I think it means alot that you’re putting in the work, and even asking here for advice is a big step.
Are you open to counseling? It can take time to find one you both like and connect with- but it could be the thing that helps her work through her resentment? And would also help you, of course. It could also be that what you think of as “putting in the work” doesn’t align with what she needs.
Another thing to think about is- how long ago did you start putting in the work? If you’ve only recently started, know that it’ll take time. It’s possible she may think it’s only temporary. Of course, I don’t know the details- only trying to throw out a few things I know from experience.
Sending support to you and your wife!