Has anyone ever put too much attention on pleasing others and their need to the point where you lost who are as a person? I’m trying to get my shit together but recently I just find it overwhelming to the point where I want to hide and cry.
I get you. It's been a problem for me my whole life. At 42 I finally have a counselor and a boyfriend who both are supportive and encouraging to get me to be less concerned with pleasing others and putting myself first. It is an active internal fight, but moments I succeed in putting myself first are little victories. I still cry when I'm overwhelmed, mad, anxious, scared, sad, etc... but at least while I'm working on reigning that in. I'm getting better at establishing my boundaries and reminding myself that I matter.
Yes. I've used other people as the barometer for normal, happy, confident. Since I did not feel anything close to those things, other people must, therefore, be them. After living undiagnosed for 9/10 of my life and being diagnosed for just 2 1/2 years, I would much rather be me, as I slowly expose her to the air and feel vulnerable, than try to be her/him/them and lose myself. I'm learning as I go and have started calling this gradual uncovering of me The Fascinated Anthropologist It creates a different vibe for me, and when I've thought about it, it's the most authentic term for what I'm doing. You are enough, and you are good. Your shit might want to be an asteroid field instead of a habitable planet, and both are valid in nature. It's not always comfy, but not everything is. Hello, some of the stilettos and jeans I wore in college?! Jeezus
I’ve gotten to a point in my life where I’m very much a people pleaser. I feel like I’ll keep my opinions to myself and do what ever makes everyone else happy. That or I’ll work hard to make sure people are happy with the work I do and if they get even remotely upset, I shut down. Ive been better about putting my own 2-cents out there, but I still have plenty of more to work on.
