14 days ago

I can’t ask for help!

I have seven kids. 6 live at home. 4 are teens and two are elementary age. My house is a mess, I’m behind on my college work, I work full time. I’m scared to ask my husband for help because he gets mad. He says he doesn’t get mad but he does. Just because he makes more money then me he acts like he doesn’t have to help!

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lllaylaaa
1w

Hunny you do more work than him and don't get paid. Yall both equally important. A marriage is a partnership not a leadership. Not one is better than the other. Your partner is suppose to vent to you and you vent to them. Tell him what you need from him and ask him what he needs from you. If he can't give you your needs there needs to a marriage counselor involved. I'm not going to tell you to walk away from him because marriage is a beautiful thing when both work hard together to make it work. My husband wakes up at 4:30 a.m. ,goes to work, comes home at 4 or 5 and helps me. I couldn't ask for a better man. I work all day with our 3 kids and home and I work from home doing hair. He knows that by the time he gets home I am over stimulated and I need a break. We've had troubles in our past but have truly listened to each other . You have to talk to each other and explain all the time how you feel. Yall are suppose to turn to each other for everything and rely on each other for everything. May time every day for nap or quiet time! In that time work on college work. Or set bed time or lights out at 8:00 and work for and 1 hrs or 2 . There's ways to work around this. My husband understands now that he gets to get out of the house and see people and drive around,maybe not to where he wants to go or doing what he wants to do,but I never usually get to leave the house. His money is yalls money now not just 1 person and vice versa. There's not 2 people there's 1. Yall are 1 now. The kids need yall. Sorry BTW I'm southern lol so I say yall a lot. Lol. Also the kids are old enough to do chores now. Make them do things like Sweep, take out the trash, cook stuff in the microwave. If my 7 and almost 4 year old can do it so can yours. They're also old enough to have play time with their younger siblings . Get a white board and set up chores ,play time,mama time,mom and dad time,etc . Whatever you need to do. Because you need to worry about your mental health as well. There's a reason why they say if mama ain't happy ain't nobody happy.

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amna17
2w

I would say rather than wasting time on your husband, assign your teen kids home tasks. They are big enough to contribute & you have 4 of them. Teens have way more energy as well

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Zelda007
2w

He is the father he helped you create those children You do 10 times more in a day than he does and when he gets home from work he should want to help you not have to be asked but if it has to be asked then ask for it. If you don't you will literally run yourself into the ground and make yourself worse than you already are It will spiral out of control and cause major problems sit down and talk with him ask him to do just one thing or two things a night to help you That's not the end of the world for him If he cares about you if he wants to support you if he wants to take care of his children he will help you out. If he doesn't kick him out and find somebody you will! lol

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