If your husband is unwilling or unable(due work ie; out of town or gone before you wake up, back after kid goes to bed) to help, get teenage babysitter(s) to come after school 2 nights a week. They're night owls so they can likely stay until 8 or 9, possibly drive themselves, they are significantly cheaper than a nanny. I have two sisters come twice a week 17, and 15. One of them cleans the other one watches the kids 4, 2, 9months. I'm often even home when they're here, but have the freedom to leave for appointments, and errands if need be. I use them as the respite I should be getting from my husband, but can't due to work. I'm essentially a single mom 6 days a week with the hours my husband works.
My husband is a little scarred from the way his mom left the house a disaster all the time. So it does bother him when it's untidy. I've also noticed it's actually a love language for him to be able to come home to a clean house. We do have the occasional argument over it, but I remind him that the most important thing I do with my day is making sure the kids are emotionally, and physically well taken care of. The next most important thing is that I do what I need to in order to just keep my sanity. As I am able to I will take on more responsibility, but it will NOT happen over night, so please be patient. Look long term, and notice the little changes I've made along the way. I am getting to where you'd like me to be. I would also like to be there too. I'm working really hard on it too. I haven't forgotten about our shared goal. I'm just doing it at a pace that safeguards those two priorities.